If you’re a big fan of Mr. Dec and the worldview presented through his paranoid delusions, you should consider becoming a member in the Official Francis E. Dec Fanclub! How, you ask? Simple! Just send an email by typing in the following adress in your email program of choice or by hitting the button titled "email" towards the bottom of this forum message! (Please note that the "0" in "zer0" is the actual number zero and not the letter "O".)

Title your email “I want to join” (or something similar, we’re not too picky here) and include your real name (first and last) and I’ll add you to the member list! You’ll also get FREE member benefits! What do they include, you ask? Simple: Just become a member today in order to, FREE OF CHARGE, receive all the following unbelievable awesome Gangster perks:

• Your Official Francis E. Dec Fanclub Member’s Certificate™, complete with your name and membership #! Perfect for framing and hanging on your bedroom wall, so all the unhip squares you know can gawk at it and go: “Duuuuh… who’s ‘Francis E. Dec’?” And you, you’ll just smile condescendingly at them and say nothing. Oh HELL yes, bitch!

• A FREE Custom forum title, along with the chance to gain more of them just like in a secret society! NOTE: This perk requires you to be a member of this forum first, something which is also 100% free of charge! Members of the Fanclub will automatically receive the degree “Dec Fanclub Member” and be eligible for the following ones, should they pass the prerequisites:

DEGREE:                                              PREREQUISITE:

Dec Fanclub Member

                         Join the Fanclub!

Official Decologist

                              To gain the level of “Official Decologist”,
                                                           you must create a piece of fan-based art
                                                           somehow pertaining to Dec, his life or his rants.
                                                           This fanart can be precisely anything as long as it
                                                           somehow relates to Mr. Dec in some way. It could
                                                           be an audio remix of one of his rants, a desktop
                                                           background, a short film based on his life, an oil
                                                           painting, a  short story, an essay or a sculpture
                                                           made out of oatmeal; anything at all. You get the
                                                           idea. Once you’re done with your masterpiece,
                                                           post it in this thread for all to see. Presto!
                                                           Change-o! Instant level gain!

Advanced Decologist

                         This level is a little trickier. Here, you must
                                                           either discover a brand new piece of
                                                           information about Francis E. Dec OR make
                                                           yet another fan-based artistic piece of art
                                                           based on him or his life, except this time it
                                                           must be a really, really good and elaborate one.
                                                           Once you’re done, post it in the same thread you
                                                           posted the first one in and, if it’s good enough,
                                                           you’ll get promoted yet another level! Blammo!

Elite Decologist

                                  Here you must discover a new piece
                                                           of information about Francis E. Dec,
                                                           regardless of what it may be. It
                                                           doesn't really matter what. ANY
                                                           new information at all will do.
                                                           This ranking will automatically  
                                                           make you eligible for an honorable  
                                                           mention in the “About” –section of the  
                                                           Fanclub!

World Class Decologist

                      This, the most 1337-of-them-all-degree,  
                                                           requires you to either have recovered  
                                                           AN ACTUAL PIECE OF WRITING actually  
                                                           written by Francis E. Dec Esquire OR  
                                                           having actually met with or spoken to  
                                                           Francis E. Dec, Esquire in person (and  
                                                           being able to prove this) OR having  
                                                           performed a Service of Great Merit™ to  
                                                           the Fanclub. Like with the above degree,  
                                                           this ranking will also automatically make  
                                                           you eligible for a mention in the “About” –
                                                           section of the Fanclub, along with gaining
                                                           you mad respect from all other Fanclub
                                                           members, myself included.

• You will also recieve free-of-charge email notifications automatically sent out to your email address whenever the Fanclub adds new material or major updates! Now you can just sit back in the comfort of your own home all sophisticated-like with a martini and let others do your hard work for you instead of constantly having to check the page for new updates. You Playboy scum-on-top, you!

• Information about the Official TOP SECRET Francis E. Dec HANDSHAKE! That’s right! Be instantaneously able to recognize, greet and communicate with ANY other fan(s) of Dec worldwide (as a Frankenstein Slave)! Know your fellow brothers and sisters instantly and in any known circumstance! Now, you just can’t top that, can you?

So what are you waiting for? Join today or be forever and permanently un-hip! It’s quick and free of charge to boot! Don’t be a square - be Dec-aware!


We here at the Official Francis E. Dec Fanclub will never, ever, EVER sell or give your email adress to a bunch of stupid spammers who'll send out a ton of useless junk email to it because we really hate that shit. Fo' realz.

EVEN MORE IMPORTANT NOTICE

(well, sort of): If you email me asking to become a member and find you recieve no message back from me in return, then be sure to check your email client's "Trash" folder! I always reply to requests from people wishing to become Fanclub members, but apparently some email services out there enjoy filtering away the replies I send people as "garbage" because they contain attachments (IE: the membership certificate and the like). Stoopid technology!


Yr. Parroting Puppet Gangster Slave,

//zer0 (Peter Branting),
Fanclub Founder, 2010